scattered

i hate this bloody feeling when i am all upset doing something that i enjoy doing... having just to spend my time in Border's Gloria Jean sipping on my peach tea but now just feeling all emo and upset!


There is this guy sitting few seats away from me opening up and trying to figure out how to operate a new iphone 4, and another lady closer to me munching on her sandwich but i am all just annoyed and feeling so restless...

some people love to be loved, but i dont think so... knowing that you're loved is good, but anything more than that is painful... it upsets me knowing that people around me are in pain because of that bloody four letter words....







you tell me that you are in pain and you feel like dying, but i feel worst than dying... FUCK IT!

anger turn pleasure

Whenever a couple has got an arguement, i personally think that the best way to make up is to have a make up sex.. as i've read about it several times from some articles, i've personally only gave it a go yesterday, and trust me... its really good and like the session was so much hotter than usual...

well, basically me and my bf had some arguement and we were both pretty upset over it... after a hot shower (i showered alone btw), we were having a chat in his room when we just started kissing and things just went on to removing pieces of clothes before the whole thing started...

believe it or not, the whole sexual intercourse lasted for like more than an hour like continuously... we started from like top up bottom down facing one another position to like everything... side ways, on the chair, carry, on the back and like everything u can imagine (not to forget the doggy position)... like yea... it was freaking good...
i wonder how many calories i lost just from yesterday night... hahaha..

damn it... thinking about the whole session is making me horny...

to satisfy

its funny how my mood changes so fast from one to another.. at one night, i was emo and all upset, and the next day waking up knowing that everything has turned better and life still goes on... perhaps its the miracle work of a good sleep + a carefree day...

Well, i find it quite funny that why i am back here now at this blog talking about my life... should i talk about my sexcapades or should i just talk about my real life?

I have my never-ever-ending-lust to satisfy that i have to get rid of daily and somehow, it has increased to like twice a day now... haha... the funny thing was that yesterday when i was watching a movie(gay one but not exactly a porn), i got so turned on by the male character moaning and i end up wanking... haha...

the bi-product of a horny guy with a gay movie... CUM!

whore

I am now officially calling myself a slut... I am not happy with what i am doing now, but basically i think that it is best that things remain like what it is now... maybe by keeping things just how it is now will make everyone happier...

Anyway, having reading pluboy's blog just now, I have to say that i am kinda sexually active too.. having all these activities lately has really spiced up yet complicate my sexual life... am i just pure horny or slut?

alone

a lot has happened lately, and things has been getting out of control that i myself is not taking it well... I have screwed up my life, and a few more others whom i should have not... I have been trying to be happy for the past few weeks, but i has been really hard for me... All i do is just to do things like a routine, and trying to make everyone happy other than myself.... i am not blaming anyone for it, as it is myself who has brought it to this stage...

I personally would see this blog as a place to escape from the public and to ignore what other people think about me so i can just be myself...

I am upset now for upsetting all these people who i really care for... maybe this is karma, but i am really feeling it... How i really wish that i will just be able to go to bed and never ever wake up to face the reality and what is going on around me..

I really want to cry now, and to just live my life just how it used to be 10 years ago.. I really hate myself now, and would like everything to end... I dont want to hurt anymore people, and i just want to go on with my life all by myself alone... I dont want anyone to look at me or to show any affection to me... just leave me alone... I just want to be all by myself!

numbers

Had a conversation with one of my ex bf just now and we were talking about relationship and stuff, and how perasan he is on how good a lover he was to me and all that kinda thing...

Me:
none of my relationship involves u


Ex:
got, your fifth relationship involves me


Me:
well, other than that obviously....
1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 6th, 7th, 8th......none!


Ex:
hahaha..u got so many...lil bit also not like me loyal to one


Me:
what makes u think that having many ex bf means i am not loyal?

So, what makes you think that having lots of bf or ex signifies that you are or won't be a good bf??? Number doesnt matter, its the process that is!

for the record, i got 8 official ex-es up-to-date..

both the same

It sucks to know that you're torn between two lover, when both of them are equally good... As some may not know, i'm stuck between two guys that i really love, and really want to be with... call me stubborn, selfish, idiot, moron, player or whatsoever it is, but i feel the same for both of them...

One of them is a student in Malaysia at my age, which i've never met before, but we've developed this very special feeling towards one another.... The feeling has been there for quite awhile, and i've started a relationship with him (a distance one) for almost 3 months... I know someone out there may think that i am childish to have such feeling, but what i feel is true...

The other guy has been with me for almost 2 years, and he's slightly older than me... Its not that i don't love him, but i've just developed a new feeling for the other guy at my age... I do know that its a stupid option wanting to be with both of them, but that is what i've opted for...