alone

a lot has happened lately, and things has been getting out of control that i myself is not taking it well... I have screwed up my life, and a few more others whom i should have not... I have been trying to be happy for the past few weeks, but i has been really hard for me... All i do is just to do things like a routine, and trying to make everyone happy other than myself.... i am not blaming anyone for it, as it is myself who has brought it to this stage...

I personally would see this blog as a place to escape from the public and to ignore what other people think about me so i can just be myself...

I am upset now for upsetting all these people who i really care for... maybe this is karma, but i am really feeling it... How i really wish that i will just be able to go to bed and never ever wake up to face the reality and what is going on around me..

I really want to cry now, and to just live my life just how it used to be 10 years ago.. I really hate myself now, and would like everything to end... I dont want to hurt anymore people, and i just want to go on with my life all by myself alone... I dont want anyone to look at me or to show any affection to me... just leave me alone... I just want to be all by myself!