introduction

it took me quite awhile to just get this blog up and alive... i am myself a blogger with a blog sharing my life with others but there's always this topic which i've never in my life talked about in my blog although i've always had the urge to do so...

as a Malaysian growing up from a typical chinese family, i've always been living in the closet being a gay and "different" from the rest of my school mates (although i was from a boy school)... People from the place i grow up from just thinks that it is wrong to love or even to adore a person of the same sex and some even find it to be sinful and disgusting... due to that, i've always tried very hard in my life to just make the best of both worlds (my straight life and plu) and to keep a clear separation so that none from the 'normal' society will find out about me...

however, as hard as i tried to keep things well separated, there always seems to be the leaks here and there and coincidence where people saw/ heard about me going out with guys and worst if the person saw some intimate acts with a guy.... in secondary school, some schoolmates of mind saw me in a partial gay club kissing in with a guy and i ended up being pointed finger at and labelled as a freak and gay... well, although i've graduated from my alma mater 2 years ago, those so called schoolmates of mine still remember the incident very well and i suppose, it'll be the same for the rest of my life (if i am to join or go out with them)..

anyway, back to my the present, my batchmates in my course has already started to find out about what who i am and my sexuality.. i have no idea how they know about it but one thing i am certain, they are already putting and drawing the boundary from me... and guess what, i am only in the 2nd month of my course and i have 10 more months to go till i return to Malaysia to my people and my society... long way to go i suppose...