australians are straight??

I donno whether am i the only gay guy in Gold Coast who is in his 20s... Mind you, i am very not desperate for sex here but maybe i am just looking forward in meeting some teenager here who is also gay and just become very very very very good friends... i am sort of sick of my friends here and they're just those typically straight guys who act so straightly...

anyway, after creating an account in Fridae, there were a few Australian guys that messaged me and wanted to be friends or even more.. Although i don discriminate people who is older mature, but maybe i can just communicate easier and more comfortable if they are just somewhere around my age... After a short while of thinking, i decided to meet this Chinese guy who is in his mid thirties for a dinner.. well, he's ok but quite short and plump but the worst part was that he was trying to hug me, kiss me and even touch me at my private area... its like totally idiotic la... going out for a dinner with you doesnt mean i don mind being touched and harrassed by your big dirty disgusting fat hands...

Is there any way of just meeting nice and sincere friends.. I am not looking for sex btw cause i am already in a relationship... I miss T and K very much... *sigh*

troubled, again

I am just feeling emo now just like pluboy.. Well, i don't know what happened to him but likewise, i am troubled due to the relationshipS i am having currently.. Maybe its the music i am listening to now but I feel so torn apart between both of them..

There's nothing I have got to say about my relationship with K as we're already together for almost 2 years now and we're already in the so called 'lou fu lou chai' (old husband and wife) status... There were obviously arguments and believe it or not, we've even fought physically for once due to some very very very huge stuff (at least this shows that we don sit around slapping each other like bitches but we do it the mens way!)..

anyway, T is the only one i am very worried of... I am not saying that he is incapable of taking care of himself but to me, he's just a little innocent naive boy (although we're at the same age) to our community... He's really really sweet and unaware of what other people's intention towards him... I am not saying that i am a saint or anything but I swear to God, i've never intended to harm him in any single way... I know you readers will be saying that I am already doing it to him now by cheating on him but I am really really worried of him being in our society.. I am just doing my best to protect him from the hooligans out there and again i swear that i've never ever thought of having sex or whatsoever with him.. What i feel for him is just love and no other intentions other than that.. If you are to put me and him in a room in a sober condition, I will never do anything to him other than just a pure cuddle...

I had quite a long conversation with T 2 nights ago and i swear, it was the most comforting conversation i've had with anyone in the year of 2010.. I am really in deep fear of what the future may bring for me and T.. I don't want him to be heart broken one day to know that i am already attached with someone.. I love him true heartedly and nothing else that I ask for other than him...

i am being very emo now... sorry...

sexy aussie

Australia is a freaking good place for plu to be in... As its a weekend after class, i decided to just go out to the town to just get lost for the fun of it... along the beach, there were tonnes of half naked guys only having a pair of shorts on... some of them are not that good looking but their bodies are the ones to die for.. they have their six packs and sexy chest just there for u to watch and if you are lucky, even their un-tanned bubbly ass... LOL

However, some of these Australians has got quite nasty behaviour and discriminate us asians here.. they have this semacam way when they stare at the asians as though they're the suicide bomber... I am not saying all the australians are bad but some are just horribly nasty...

anyway, i am enjoying my life here visiting the beach and cycling here... damn good bodies half naked... i saw a japanese looking guy driving a car without shirt too.. trust me, i was about to get a hard on seeing him exiting his car...(i donno why but i am just turned on by asian guys more than the westerners..)

should i start taking their pictures when i get a chance and share it on the blog??? hmm... gay paparazzi on action!

Obsessed?!!

maybe i am not prepared for all these that i am having now... being in a relationship with K and trying to keep another with T is really stressful... was chatting with T yesterday night and he uttered that I am obsessed with him and he requested me not to 'stalk' on him... i donno... maybe he meant it jokingly but i really felt a knife piercing my heart... for whatever that i am doing now, i don mean to stalk on him or even trying to be possesive but all i want is just to care more for him and to understand what is going on in his daily life... i don't know how to be caring but not 'possesive'...

On the other hand, K has been quite down lately due to poor financial activity and upcoming CNY which will cost him more money... i donno what can i do for him to feel better la... i miss K very much also...

stuck..

T just told me that he broke up with his bf (now ex) the night before yesterday and he feels very much better after that... I felt a sudden gush of happiness but the thing that came into my mind was the question asking myself.. what about myself?? i am currently being greedy wanting to have both these fine gentlemens as my lover.. i am again in a dilemma on deciding on whether a decision should be made or not...

I was left speechless for a moment then all i had in mind was for him and K to forgive me for what i am doing.. am i being too possesive and obsessed with T lately?? How and what should i do now?!

Back in double love

T is not ignoring me anymore... I want to go back to Malaysia to see him...

I LOVE YOU T!!!!!!

love is in the air... lalalalalalala..............

maintaining a WE?

its weird waking up knowing that you've had a dream about your ex and worst when its some sort of like a wet dream kinda thing... anyway, had a great week and things were looking great in class and everything was going according to plan but when it comes to relationship, its another story...

T seems to be ignoring and being treating me very coldly as there seems to be almost no sms... i can sense that something bad is about to happen but i don think that i am all prepare for it... although we've never met, but it still sucks knowing that the so called online relationship we have is going to end and it will definitely feel awkward to talk to each other after that... i miss him very much la... *sigh*

On another hand, K is starting to cold down as well as we're currently having to live with what we are having now, without one another, for another 10 months... Before i started the relationship with K, he was the high profile kinda guy and knows quite a number of people and from what i heard, he was as well a slut... I am now very worried that as we are far apart, he would just go back to his previous lifestyle and the 'we' would be gone as well...

desperate measures

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

torn between two lover

can distance be the reason of separating in a relationship??

well, i am currently in a relationship with K and T and believe it or not, they are both in Malaysia while i am in some other continent in the world (that sucks...i know!)... well, the one thing is that i've never met T in real life but we started the 'date' we had not too long after we got to know each other in the internet through some random friend and we don't mind and have never even mentioned about what to, how to and where to for the relationship...

and another thing... am i considered cheating on K since that i've been long attached with him while T and myself has only started less than a month ago?? I have no idea how or why but K has started to question me on who is T because he saw from my facebook that i've been visiting his page quite oftenly...

I don mean to cheat on any one of them but i really like them... any Dr Love around here??

feeling like a fool

sexpedition?

it really really irritates me when all these random people added you and start off by asking ASL and stuff like that... Why cant people PLU just behave like normal and just start off with a conversation instead of AGE SEX LOCATION and followed by STATS... its worst when they added with DO YOU DO CAM SEX/FUN?!?!

hello... i am not here to satisfy or have a mutual sexderstading and to please you... I know you have a dick but do note that you too have a pair of hands and you are able to jerk off... my God... I know you are horny but the least is to give yourself a slight respect when starting a conversation with a stranger... i can be horny too but i dont go around asking you for the length of your dick and stuff like that...

speak with your brain.. not dick

2 randoms

I just read from The Star online regarding the churches burning incident in Malaysia... Well, i am not very certain of what happened but I am very much disappointed.. Although i am not a Christian nor a Muslim (as i am a free thinker), i am just very curious on what was going on those idiot's mind when they set the fire on the churches.. Its just a matter of a word in a journal and that triggered them to light up a 4 churches?!! how stupid!!

well, I personally love Malaysia but Malaysian's mentality is just... i don't know... so stuck in donno where... I am wondering what happen if the PLUs in Malaysia come out from the closet.. they might get killed and even dis-owned by their family members...

Anyway, life here in Australia is not that bad... Am still deeply in love with K and T as nothing has changed but i am starting to get worried as T seems to be treating me very coldly lately... I have no idea how can i maintain this long-distanced-never-meet-before relationship but... donno la...  ish... I have no idea how can i develop a stable relationship with him although i know that i really want him to be mine and to be protected...

I can be horny

but I miss you with my heart and not dick

life without K & T

class has been 'colder' than usual as people start to talk about my sexuality and stuff like that... for those who has gone through this stage(and survived it), i would like to give u a big kiss hug and salute you for being this strong... it sucks to know that people are talking at your back pointing fingers at you and calling you a freak although you did nothing wrong but just choose to like someone of the same gender... its not like i like anyone of them (i swear i dont!) and wanted to kiss or even *#@& them but its just my choice in my life to like someone who is a guy... why is it that most people i know always think that being gay is disgusting and an act of indecency??

well, i basically have no one to talk to or even to share my feelings here in Australia and it hurts to know that people you use to call 'friends' is taking a step away from yourself...

anyway, on a happier note, i am at least glad to know that i have my lovers back in Malaysia.. yeap... its true that i have fallen in love and showing affection towards 2 people at the same time but that doesnt actually mean that i am a slut or whatsoever... What I have for them is just the feeling of loving and wanting them to be protected and happy... its not like i have sex with both of them and i am flirtatious.. i swear to God that i put both of them at the same position in my heart and no other plu is even compatible to them.. I will call one of them as K and the other one as T...

K is actually my lover since 2 years ago and we are going happily together... then not too long ago, i started to develop feelings towards T after getting to know him online through a friend.. although i've never met T, there's just this urge of me to keep him protected from any harm that our plu society that might put on him... I am not saying that i am so sacred and angellic but the least is that i want him to live a happy live... and yes, myself and T are having an online relationship currently and i don mind calling him everyday to just talk and listen to him...

Personally, being in a relationship doesnt mean to have sex and kiss or whatsoever; but its to treasure that someone and wanting him to be happy and safe all the time... no doubt I have raging hormones and wanks, I've never expected myself to meet T and the first thing to do is to have kiss and have sex... a hug is more than enough for me IF i am given a chance to see him and nothing more that i am asking...

ok.... so much with talking about T... I got to know K 2 years back from my ex and yea, we've been together since then... I do love him very much and K has been a great lover to me... maybe you will say that i am a jerk that is misusing K and flirts around but I do love K just as before and he is as well my lover... I've never intended or even want to break up with him after i get to know T because K has become a part of my life...

and yes... I LOVE K AND T VERY MUCH!!

introduction

it took me quite awhile to just get this blog up and alive... i am myself a blogger with a blog sharing my life with others but there's always this topic which i've never in my life talked about in my blog although i've always had the urge to do so...

as a Malaysian growing up from a typical chinese family, i've always been living in the closet being a gay and "different" from the rest of my school mates (although i was from a boy school)... People from the place i grow up from just thinks that it is wrong to love or even to adore a person of the same sex and some even find it to be sinful and disgusting... due to that, i've always tried very hard in my life to just make the best of both worlds (my straight life and plu) and to keep a clear separation so that none from the 'normal' society will find out about me...

however, as hard as i tried to keep things well separated, there always seems to be the leaks here and there and coincidence where people saw/ heard about me going out with guys and worst if the person saw some intimate acts with a guy.... in secondary school, some schoolmates of mind saw me in a partial gay club kissing in with a guy and i ended up being pointed finger at and labelled as a freak and gay... well, although i've graduated from my alma mater 2 years ago, those so called schoolmates of mine still remember the incident very well and i suppose, it'll be the same for the rest of my life (if i am to join or go out with them)..

anyway, back to my the present, my batchmates in my course has already started to find out about what who i am and my sexuality.. i have no idea how they know about it but one thing i am certain, they are already putting and drawing the boundary from me... and guess what, i am only in the 2nd month of my course and i have 10 more months to go till i return to Malaysia to my people and my society... long way to go i suppose...